


flowers bloom with no regret

by colazitron



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: ALL THE GOOD STUFF, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cohabitation, Coming Out, Cooking, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Sharing a Bed, a kitten - Freeform, some nailpolish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 11:21:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15639717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colazitron/pseuds/colazitron
Summary: When Mikael comes out to his parents he finds himself suddenly in need of accommodation. Luckily, he has friends who don't hesitate to take him in and Adam was moving into a new appartment anyway.





	flowers bloom with no regret

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I am in no way affiliated with these characters or their creators. I made all of this up and am sharing it purely for fun.
> 
>  **A/N:** This was written for the lovely koedder-du's art. I know it's not in the spirit of the game to post WIPs for a challenge like that, but sometimes life happens, and I didn't want to drop out completely.
> 
> Thank you to Tina for cheering me on relentlessly, and to Immy for helping me out with Norway questions. <3 you both.

Mikael can hear his mother crying in the other room.

It's not… He tried to prepare himself for this, but truthfully there's nothing that could have really prepared him for it. His mother crying, his father deathly silent. At least his sister is only staring at him with wide, wounded eyes from her perch on his bed. At least she's still _on_ his bed. That… feels like it's a good thing? He's not sure. She yelled at him earlier, but she hasn't left yet.

Maybe she just wants to make sure he leaves.

“Just take it back,” she says, voice on the verge of breaking when he zips his backpack shut with maybe more force than it needs. He didn't want to pack his things beforehand because that felt like jinxing it, but now that he's spent fifteen minutes listening to his mother wail out her sorrow in the other room he wishes he had.

“I won't,” he says, and doesn't look up, takes two seconds to force the tears back down.

“Please, Mikael, you can't do this to us,” she begs. “You're… you're not yourself. You can't mean it.”

“I meant it,” Mikael says, discomfort curling tight in his gut.

“I know you,” Aisha insists. “We used to do everything together, remember? I know you! I know you, and you're not gay!”

She might actually be right about that, Mikael might really not be gay. He's not sure. He hasn't had a crush on a girl in ages, but he generally hasn't had many crushes since Bakka. And the ones he did have were all on boys. It doesn't feel completely impossible that he'll ever have a crush on a girl again, but what does he know? Maybe that's just vestiges of compulsive heterosexuality making him cling to the idea that he could maybe try and have a “normal” life, forget the part of himself that's queer.

He doesn't think so, because there's plenty other evidence that he's not exactly “normal”, but he doesn't really have any words to name it yet. For now, “gay” has to do.

“I am though,” Mikael says and looks up at her.

She's crying too now, though silently. Mikael tells himself he knew this was the most likely outcome of tonight, but it doesn't really help with how his heart breaks over it. His mother and sister are both crying because of him. Not because of something he did, something he can fix and ask forgiveness for, but because of who he is.

He swings his backpack onto one shoulder, grabs his jacket off the back of the door to his room and then picks up his duffel.

His dad looks up when he walks through the living room, but it feels like he's looking at a stranger. Not someone he once knew well who suddenly became a stranger, the way he did to Aisha, but someone he never even met in the first place. Someone who can't hold his attention for longer than the second it takes him to clock what disturbed the silence of the room.

Mikael swallows more tears when Dad turns away, swallows the provocative something that sits on the tip of his tongue, and moves on.

By the door he slips into his shoes, staring down at the floor, and doesn't turn around to see if Aisha has followed him. He's pretty sure she didn't. He doesn't want the confirmation, and he doesn't want to see her crying again either.

He leaves.

Steps through the door of his parents' apartment – his _home_ – and tries to ignore the ringing in his ears and the thundering of his heart in his chest.

His feet carry him to the tram stop on autopilot. He's walked the path so many times, if his footsteps left prints the entire pavement would be covered in them.

That might be fun. Maybe the colour would change depending on his mood. Like a mood ring, only in footsteps to and from the tram that usually takes him away and home again.

Today it's a one-way trip.

 

**Even**

are you home?

Yeah, are you coming over? :D

yeah, omw

 

He should maybe say something about the bags he's bringing but it's not like he plans on staying with Even and Isak forever. He just… he needs a hug. He needs comfort. He needs to forget the words his father didn't say, the words his mother _did._ He needs… he needs his best friend.

For the rest of the tram ride he stares out of the window, counts the stops, and tries to think as little as possible. It's surprisingly easy.

Isak is the one to open the door, and his grin falls off his face the second he clocks the bags. Mikael's already biting his lip against the renewed urge to cry, but this time he doesn't make it. Isak mumbles a quiet, “shit,” and then wraps his arms around him, right there in the doorway.

“I--” Mikael tries to say, but the rest of the sentence gets swallowed by a heaving sob. It's fine though, he doesn't know what he was going to try and say anyway.

Everything goes dark as he buries his face in the junction of Isak's neck and shoulder. His duffel bag thuds heavily as it hits the floor and before he knows it, his own arms are wrapping around Isak in return, letting Isak pull him as close as he can. Isak's hands are big and warm and strong on Mikael's back, and even though they're pretty evenly matched, height-wise, Mikael feels like he could curl up and fit his entire body against Isak's torso. Isak leans his head against his, cuddles him in even more, blocks out as much of the world as he can.

“Are you two--- oh,” Even says, stepping out of-- the kitchen, probably, because Mikael's pretty sure he can hear something sizzling on the stove.

“Oh, shit,” he says and then… moves around some. Mikael doesn't look up to check, and he can't quite bring himself to focus on what he's hearing when it's mostly his own sobbing, and his face is going wet with tears. And snot too, probably. He can't even care that he's smearing both of those in Isak's t-shirt at the moment. There's just nothing left that isn't the weight of what just happened sinking into the hollowed out cavern of his chest.

There are hands on his hips, very gently pushing him into the flat from behind, and then Even closes the door with a soft click.

“Do you want to sit?” Isak asks, quietly.

Mikael shakes his head.

Sitting means letting go. He can't face the world yet. He needs to hide here a little longer.

“Okay,” Isak says, equally quietly, and gives him a little squeeze. His hand comes up to move over Mikael's hair, smooths it down with a few soothing passes of Isak's hand over his head before he moves it back down and just holds Mikael some more.

Even squeezes his shoulder but doesn't move in to join the hug. Mikael thinks he's grateful for that. As comforting as it is, being held, he thinks he'd feel crowded, stuck between both of them.

Isak smells like Even does, Mikael realises when his breathing has calmed down somewhat. Or actually – they probably just smell like each other. Same laundry detergent, same shower gel, same shampoo. Mikael doesn't think they use the same cologne, but he also doesn't think Isak is wearing any. He actually doesn't know if Isak wears much cologne at all.

Not that that's important.

“We can sit now,” he says quietly, pulling away a little to wipe his hand over his eyes and cheeks. It just makes his cheeks feel sticky instead of wet, and he really needs a tissue.

“Are you sure?” Isak asks. “We can stay here as long as you like.”

Mikael feels fresh tears well up and wipes them away as soon as they spill over.

“Yeah. I'm fine,” he says.

He's very clearly not fine, but Isak lets him pretend, somehow manages to manoeuvre him into their room and onto the bed without ever letting go of him completely and gets the backpack off his shoulders. When they sit down, Isak gingerly hands him a few tissues, and Mikael wipes his face off and blows his nose. His face feels marginally better like that, not so completely like that of a person who's spent the last however many minutes crying their eyes out. Not quite so much like that of a person whose life just fell apart.

“Do you want Even?” Isak asks then. Gently, still. Mikael knew, of course, of Isak's capacity for gentleness, has seen him look at Even, touch Even, kiss Even, speak to Even. Has heard Even speak of Isak. This might be the first time he properly understands what Even's talking about though. What it feels like to be on the receiving end of it.

He shakes his head.

“This is fine,” he says.

He does want Even. Eventually. But right now he's still scared to upset this calm. To move out of the bubble Isak has pulled him into where Mikael feels-- not like things are alright, but like he's protected at least.

“Alright,” Isak says and then reaches out and takes one of Mikael's hands in his, curling his fingers around Mikael's without comment. He doesn't rub his thumb over Mikael's hand, doesn't squeeze. He just holds his hand, lets Mikael focus on the warmth of Isak's skin, on how pleasantly soft and warm his hand feels. Gives him something nice to literally hold on to while he tries to pretend that he has other things to hold on to as well.

Tears well up again, and Isak hands him another tissue. Mikael doesn't think to question where he's taking them from, doesn't lift his face, keeps his eyes glued to the sight of their linked hands on the blue duvet cover.

Even's always liked blue.

Mikael likes it too.

It's pretty. Dark, but not cold. Not dreary. Deep. Like you could sink into it and never have to come back up.

Isak doesn't ask any questions, doesn't offer any reassurances. He just sits there, his hand steady and comfortable around Mikael's.

Eventually Mikael heaves a deep sigh and lets his body sag, leans over and puts his head on Isak's shoulder.

“Everything's fucked,” he says quietly.

“Not everything,” Isak protests immediately, but he does it just as quietly. “But, yeah.”

Mikael can't help the hollow snort of not-quite-laughter.

“Thanks.”

“You're welcome,” Isak says, and Mikael blinks furiously against even more tears.

When Even walks in he looks up from the floor at him, watches him walk over, his expression torn between misery and sympathy and trying to pull a smooth show of strength over top in case Mikael needs him to. Mikael doesn't even try to smile at him, just watches as he sinks to his knees in front of Mikael, gingerly reaching out to take his free hand.

“Hi,” Even says.

Mikael makes his mouth move a little in what would usually be a smile and doesn't say anything back.

“Are you hungry?” Even asks.

Mikael isn't. He should probably eat, because he hasn't eaten all day, too nervous to force anything down, but he's not hungry.

“Not really,” he says.

Even nods at him.

“That's okay.”

Isak makes no move to get up either and Mikael doesn't have the energy to feel bad about keeping them from their meal. Even settles in on the floor, leans against the bed and Mikael's legs and puts their joined hands up on Mikael's thighs, looking up at him with those big, soulful eyes of his.

“I don't know what to do,” Mikael finally says. It's somehow the most all-encompassing and non-specific thing he could have said at the same time, but it's mostly what he feels – helpless. He knew this might happen, he sort of has contingency plans, but right now he can't think that any of them will actually work, that there is a life after this, as dramatic as that sounds.

“We'll work it out,” Even says and smiles, small and sweet, but still bright. Mikael doesn't think any of Even's smiles are every anything less than bright. There's something about his face that opens to joy so easily it seems to leak out of him.

“Promise?” Mikael asks, voice small and tight with another wave of tears welling up in his eyes.

Even nods at him and squeezes his hand.

“Promise.”

 

Mikael sleeps between them that night. Their bed isn't really big enough for three, but it's perfect for that night; close and warm and reminding Mikael constantly that he's not alone, he has friends left, he has _family_ left. It's not the same as sleeping in his own bed with his family's acceptance and love would have been, but it's not a terrible substitute. Isak's facing him, still holding his hand, and their knees are pressed together. Even's slotted up close behind him, one hand underneath Mikael's body and one slung over his middle.

 

The following day dawns early, bright, and warm. Not a cloud in the sky, sunshine, birds chirping happily. It's not too warm and not too cold, that rare summer day that gives you the warmth of sunshine on your skin and a cool breeze to relieve any heat. It's a great reminder that the world will keep on turning no matter how much you feel like it won't. It's like literally the whole universe is saying, “The world doesn't revolve around you, Mikael, so stop moping and move on”.

Isak and Even seem to disagree with the universe.

When Mikael wakes up, it's to the heat of Isak's body still close to his and the unmistakeable sounds of breakfast being made in the kitchen. Eggs, if Mikael knows anything about Even.

Mikael almost smiles and then shuffles forward, buries his face in Isak's chest so he won't have to open his eyes yet. Isak's arm comes up and around him, squeezing him close for a moment before his hand cards through Mikael's hair, working through the tangles. It's repetitive and soothing, and Mikael wonders how long Isak's been awake and chose to stay in bed with him anyway. In favour of joining his actual boyfriend in the kitchen. Mikael's seen them, they never let a moment go by to flirt and touch and make out, yet here Isak is, body relaxed and heavy next to Mikael's, his hand in Mikael's hair, while Even's an entire room away.

There's the sound of footsteps then, followed by Even's voice.

“Breakfast's just about done. Should we wake him?” he asks. “I could make more later.”

Mikael squeezes his eyes shut more tightly and presses closer to Isak. Holds his breath and counts to ten, tells himself not to cry. Isak's hand stills in his hair and then scratches at his scalp gently. Mikael takes a very controlled breath.

“He's up,” Isak says, and Mikael can hear the gentle smile in his voice.

“Oh. Well then,” Even says. “Good morning, Mikael. I made eggs if you want some.”

Mikael smiles to himself, thinks Isak can probably see it, what with how he's combed all of Mikael's hair away from his face, and nods a little. It's probably only polite and his stomach is keen to point out that he hasn't actually eaten anything in a good while.

“He says yes, please, and thank you for making breakfast,” Isak says.

Even laughs a little.

“You're welcome.”

There's the sound of a kettle boiling then, which must mean there'll be tea. Tea will be good. Tea's always been Mikael's go-to coping mechanism. Feel under the weather? Tea. Tired? Tea. Too hyped up? Tea. Really happy? Tea. Really _un_ happy? Definitely tea.

Isak scoots back a little then and shuffles down so he's eye-level with Mikael, tries on a little smile.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi,” Mikael says back, voice cracking a little.

“Hi,” Isak repeats, a little more firmly this time and with amusement twinkling in his eyes.

Mikael huffs another small laugh.

“Are we done now?” he asks.

Isak hums and pretends to think it over.

“We can put it to rest for now,” he says and then reaches out to take Mikael's hand in his again. “How are you doing?”

“Trying not to think about how I'm doing,” Mikael says honestly. Denial and repression are valid coping methods too, right? It'd be unrealistic to expect the tea to do all the heavy lifting after all.

“Right,” Isak says and nods.

“Do you want to have a shower?” he then tacks on after a few seconds seemingly spent searching for something else to say.

Now that Isak's offered and put the idea in Mikael's head, Mikael actually sort of desperately does want a shower.

“Yeah, that would be really good,” he says.

Isak nods decisively and then pushes himself up.

“You can use whatever you find,” he says, and doesn't offer clothes, but doesn't make any mention of how he doesn't have to because Mikael arrived with luggage either.

“Yeah, thanks,” Mikael says, and goes over to his duffel to dig out fresh underwear, a t-shirt, and a pair of shorts, then ducks out of the room. He meets Even's eyes briefly as he passes the kitchen and Even looks up from the mugs he's pouring water into, and tries to smile at Even. Even beams back.

“I'll be right out,” Mikael says, halting in his tracks and lifting up his bundle of clothes in explanation.

“Take your time,” Even says, waving him off with the spatula in his hand, splattering a bit of egg onto the floor.

Typical.

“Oops,” Even says and then grabs some paper tissue to wipe it up.

Mikael leaves him to it and hurries on into the bathroom.

It feels a little mean, but as he puts his clean clothes on the closed toilet lid and drops the ones he peels out of onto the floor, he can't help but notice how clean everything is. He notices every time he comes over. It's not that they're the tidiest people – nothing Even does is ever tidy, and Isak doesn't seem to be overly orderly himself, if the notes he keeps for his uni classes are anything to go by, but their flat is always _clean._ There's no dust bunnies creeping along the edges of doors and closets, no stains on the kitchen counter, no sticky coffee mug rings on the table.

It's not what he'd have expected from two barely-twenty-somethings, but it's… nice. It makes their place feel more like a home and less like a place they happen to live. It makes it seem like it's an achievable thing, building a home.

If Isak and Even managed before they even left school, then surely Mikael can do it now. He's got a degree. He's got a _job._ Well, he's going to have a job in two weeks' time when he starts. And not a making-coffee-at-KB kind of job either, a proper job. One that comes with a desk in an office and everything. It's a bit scary, if he's being honest. And when are you going to be honest if not naked in your best friend's shower?

Mikael sighs to himself and ducks his face under the water, letting it run over his brows and squeezed-shut eyes, along his nose and over his lips. Then he ducks under further and runs his hands over his hair, slicking it back.

There's two shampoo bottles in the shower – one in a generic blue bottle, supposedly smelling of man, and one in white with purple swirly patterns and a girl shaking out her luscious curly hair. Mikael grins to himself and reaches for the white and purple one, flipping open the cap to smell it. It doesn't smell like much, but it's distinctly not the generic man smell that all “for men” products tend to have. He squeezes a bit onto the palm of his hand, caps the bottle and puts it back, working the shampoo in to his hair and letting his eyes fall shut again.

There's something so comforting and safe about showers. The noise and feeling of the water shuts out the outside world a little, and when you shut your eyes as well, let yourself breathe in the scented shower gels and shampoos, it all pulls the focus in so close. There's nothing but you in a shower. Mikael's always liked it.

Feeling clean and refreshed afterwards doesn't hurt either.

“You used Isak's shampoo,” Even grins at him, throwing an arm around him and pulling him close when Mikael goes to join him in the kitchen afterwards.

Mikael grins back.

“You're just jealous because we have better hair than you,” he teases, and Even laughs brightly. Maybe a little more than the joke really warrants, but Even's always been someone who laughs a little more than any joke warrants.

“Come sit down, I'm just done,” Even says instead of any sort of reply and grabs a plate with a stack of pancakes to carry through to their other room.

Isak's already sat at the table, scrolling through something on his phone, but he sets it down when they come in and leans up to let Even kiss him hello after he's set the plate down. Mikael's willing to bet they spent a good amount of the time Mikael was in the shower kissing, but he's used to it by now, the way they still can't really keep their hands – or mouths – off each other. It would be sickening if it weren't so damned adorable.

Mikael's pretty sure the pancakes are mostly for him, so he sits down on the chair opposite Isak and Even, and reaches for one without waiting for an invitation.

“Smells amazing,” he says, shooting Even a grin.

“Cardamom,” Even grins back and then reaches for the carton of orange juice to pour first Isak and then himself a glass.

Isak, meanwhile, grabs the pan with the scrambled eggs and dishes first himself and then Even some, the two of them moving in a sort of easy synchronisation that Mikael can't help but watch with a very small smile pulling at his lips.

They eat in silence for a while, but eventually the silence lets Mikael's mind get too loud and too close to all the things he doesn't really want to think about. So--

“What are your plans today?” he asks.

Even and Isak share a look, and Isak shrugs.

“Nothing in particular. I gotta go into work in the afternoon, but Even's got the day off, so we're having a lazy morning,” he says.

Mikael's eyes immediately move over to catch Even's, who lifts his eyebrows at him.

“Wanna hang out?” he asks, which is exactly the kind of thing he'd ask if Mikael hadn't just been lowkey kicked out by his parents and slept in their bed last night, so Mikael nods.

“Yeah, sure,” he says. “I don't start work until August.”

“Nice,” Even says and nods appreciatively. “Are you excited for that?”

Even knows that Mikael is, because he's been excited about it ever since he got the confirmation that he got the position a week ago, but he can't help but smile again anyway.

“Yeah,” he says. “Super excited. I'm so lucky that they had a position to fill just as I finished.”

“You did an internship there too, right?” Isak asks, before loading some eggs onto his fork.

“Not there, no, but I met a person from there through the internship I did do and they let me know about the position as soon as it was clear it was going to open up,” Mikael explains.

“Oh, so you had a head-start on the other applicants?” Isak teases.

Mikael snorts.

“Basically. I'm not sure if that's a good thing? Doesn't that just mean that they're going to wait and see if someone better comes along? They're hardly going to hire the first guy who applies.”

Isak shrugs.

“Unless he's the best guy for the job,” he says. “Were you the very first person though? Maybe you just set a really high standard.”

“I don't know, I didn't ask, to be honest,” Mikael says with a grin and shrug of his own. “Didn't think it was important.”

Isak snorts a laugh.

“Fair enough.”

Even and Isak fill the rest of breakfast with chatter about Isak's job at KB – the one he'd taken over from Even when Even had gotten a job at a photo studio as an all around helping hand. Mikael's pretty sure even Even's forgotten his official job title by now.

When Isak leaves after a quick lunch, Mikael says his goodbyes and then moves out onto the balcony, busying himself on his phone while he's pretty sure Even and Isak make out against the door for a good five minutes.

Then Isak yells out another “bye, see you later”, the door falls shut, and Mikael can hear the floor creak under Even's feet as he comes to join Mikael. He rests his lower arms on the railing next to Mikael, bumping their shoulders together companionably. They can see Isak walk out of the building and around to the bike shed, then watch him bike off. He doesn't look back up at them but when Mikael looks over at Even he's got a tiny smile on his face anyway.

Mikael can't help but smile at it himself. Ridiculous, these two. He's never seen two people so completely tangled up in each other.

For a few moments longer they stand there in silence, and then Even moves a little closer, presses their arms together.

“They'll come around,” he says, and suddenly Mikael's crying again.

It bursts out of him like all that was holding the tears back was a silky thin sheet of paper, and before he knows it Even has him wrapped up in his arms, hand carding through his hair, whispering comforting nonsense while he holds him close.

“Fuck, what do I do now, Even?” Mikael manages to sob and Even squeezes him a little more tightly.

“We'll figure it out. You can stay here for as long as you want,” he says.

Mikael wants to. Wants to curl up between them at night and cover himself in their shower gel. Wants to pretend the world outside doesn't exist and he has a place to belong – a place that feels like acceptance and love.

“There's no rush, okay?” Even insists. “And anything we can do to help, Isak and I will be happy to.”

“Thanks,” Mikael sniffs and pulls back to wipe the tears off his cheeks. He really hopes he'll get over the crying phase soon; he's already tired of it.

“I should tell the boys,” he says then.

Even looks at him with those big, vulnerable eyes of his and nods encouragingly.

“If you want,” he says. “They'll want to help too.”

Mikael nods, because he knows they will. There's no judgement from them he needs to be afraid of. They're his brothers – brothers by choice – and they all know already that he's been questioning himself, doesn't feel like the whole “straight guy” thing fits him all that well. Plus, after Even and Adam, the news that Mikael's not straight either is really mostly underwhelming for them.

Even follows him back inside and sits on the bed with him as he texts their group chat, holds his hand as they wait for reactions to come pouring in. They're all as predicted – positive and empathetic, promising support and “anything you need, Mikael, just say the word”, and Mikael bites his lips against the fresh sting of tears behind his eyes. Not over crying yet, then.

 

**Adam Malik**

I'm moving into a flat two floors above evak starting August, actually. If you want/need you can move in until you find something of your own.

 

“Adam's moving out?” he asks out loud, and Even makes an agreeable noise.

“Yeah, he's moving into an identical flat two floors up. His parents bought it to rent out eventually, but so long as he's still at uni he gets to live there to slowly ease him into independence or something,” Even explains.

“He offered to let me stay until I find something of my own,” Mikael explains and pulls the keyboard up to answer.

 

**Adam Malik**

For real? That is really tiny. You won't have much privacy.

Haha, yeah, but it must be better with just the two of us than evak + you. I don't mind. <3

Yeah, cool. Thanks! <3

 

“It'd be cool if you're both close by. We can have double date dinner parties and pretend we're adults,” Even grins.

Mikael grins back.

“We are adults, Even.”

“No, sh, don't say that,” Even begs, nose wrinkled.

Mikael shakes his head at him.

“And I don't think it counts as a double date just because there's four people when two of them aren't even dating.”

“Well, then you have to start dating Adam, obviously,” Even says, twinkle in his eyes that Mikael knows he should just roll his eyes at because the more he engages with the joke the less Even will let it go. But it's good, to joke around and make himself think about things that aren't the insistent ache in his chest.

“Just because Adam's bi and I'm-- queer, doesn't mean--”

“Yes, it does,” Even interrupts. “Queer people can't be friends, didn't you hear? We all have gigantic orgies. Didn't anyone tell you?”

Mikael snorts another laugh.

“Is that the gay agenda?”

“Afraid so,” Even nods gravely. “You really should have gotten a pamphlet in the mail.”

“You're so full of shit,” Mikael says but laughs, giving Even a playful push.

“Yeah, well,” Even says and shrugs.

Mikael sighs and smiles softly.

“Thanks though.”

“Any time,” Even says and beams back at him. And then, after a little more quite, he asks, “Want to come grocery shopping with me so I can make dinner later?”

It's not like Mikael has anything better to do, so they go.

By the time Isak comes back from work, Even's got dinner all but on the table, and made Mikael sit on the bed so he could vacuum too. Mikael's teased him about being a proper housewife at least once an hour but it's… fascinating, somehow. He's never usually here when Even or Isak do any chores. He's seen them cook before, sure, but he's never been here for a whole day. Not a regular one with grocery shopping and emptying the dishwasher and putting away the dirty laundry and vacuuming a bit. All those chores that make up a day and a life that he's never really had to deal with in their entirety. Sure, he helps out-- helped out at home. But it was his mum who did most of the work. And it was never Mikael who had to think about when to get things done, how much time it would all take.

It's a little sobering, the realisation that soon he's going to have to deal with all this as well. At least he won't be completely on his own.

“Perfect timing,” Even says when Isak steps through the door and kisses him hello on the way to their main room, pot of spaghetti in his oven-mittened hands.

“That smells so good,” Isak says, a touch of longing in his voice as he slips out of his shoes. He throws his snapback cap onto the bed as he walks into the room, running a hand through his hair, and gives Mikael a hug before kissing Even again, like they didn't do that literally less than twenty seconds ago.

“Hi,” he says, putting a hand on Even's back and smiling at him.

The corners of Even's mouth tick up.

“Hi,” he says back and then looks over at Mikael still sat on the bed, motioning for him to come join them at the table.

Isak pulls Even's chair out and Even grabs the jug of water to fill all their glasses before he sits down. Isak dishes out food and talks about work and Even talks about the afternoon with Mikael in a way that makes it feel more exciting to remember than it did when it happened. Mikael watches them and breathes and smiles and tries not to think about how his chest feels both more and less hollow watching them.

After dinner, they play a few rounds of FIFA with the balcony doors thrown wide open, a soft breeze making the curtain dance a little and cooling their flushed-from-laughter cheeks. Briefly, Mikael worries about Even and Isak's neighbours, but they seem unconcerned with the noise, so he lets it go.

At night, he sleeps between them again.

 

Even goes into work while Isak and Mikael are still sat at the breakfast table the following morning, and the quiet that settles in his place is a little less comfortable than the one left behind after Isak's departure the day before.

Isak doesn't seem affected by it, finishing his cup of coffee leisurely.

It's not that they've never been left alone with each other. Mikael's actually spent a good amount of time talking to Isak alone – especially recently, trying to sort himself out. But it's still different. He's pretty sure Isak and he are friends in their own right by now, but there's still that marker in his mind that thinks of Isak as “Even's boyfriend” first. He's pretty sure Isak thinks of him as “Even's best friend” and not just a friend either.

When Isak sets his cup down, he does it with an air of finality and looks over at Mikael. His face is open and gentle, if not quite smiling, and Mikael would quite like to figure out how he does that, at some other time.

“Do you want to talk about it, or do you want to do something?” Isak asks.

“Do something,” Mikael says without hesitation. Talking about it is probably something he needs to do, but it's also something he's going to be doing a lot of anyway. For now, he kind of likes the fact that he hasn't cried yet today and he would like to keep it that way a bit longer.

Isak smiles.

“Alright,” he says, and gets up. “Let's clear the table first.”

Isak has to leave for work again later after lunch, but he takes the morning for some more chores. The endless repetition of tidying the kitchen and then a load of laundry and some more basic groceries that Even forgot yesterday because he keeps forgetting to bring the list they keep for this specific purpose, Isak explains with a roll of his eyes. Unlike Even relegating him to the bed and out of the way yesterday, Isak makes him help out, tells him what to do in the kitchen, asks him to fetch the washing powder, open doors for him, hold the basket as they shop.

It's… it's really good. Doing something, physically, that results in a clear positive change is somehow energising. Makes him feel lighter.

Mikael wonders if Isak knew, if he did it on purpose, but he doesn't dare ask lest confirmation ruin the effect.

When Isak leaves, Mikael decides to go with him. Even won't be back for another hour or two, and while Isak has offered up their netflix and playstation, Mikael doesn't really want to be left alone with his thoughts yet. So he walks with Isak to work and then texts Adam to come meet him there if he's free.

Adam is.

Isak brings Mikael a green tea while he waits and Mikael busies himself with his phone until Adam gets there. The internet can offer plenty of distraction for a period of half an hour, and by the time Adam falls into the seat opposite him, with a cup of coffee and a pastry, Mikael hasn't even had time to get bored yet.

“Hi,” Adam says brightly, grinning at him. “Are the lovebirds driving you crazy yet?”

Mikael laughs and shakes his head.

“It's fine. They work anyway,” he says.

Adam hums and nods.

“Well, most people do,” he says. “You're gonna join the masses soon.”

Mikael smiles a little.

“Yeah, true.”

“Two weeks,” Adam grins and waggles his eyebrows. He'd helped craft Mikael's application and met for coffee with him after the interview to help him wind down, so he knows all about how very much Mikael is actually looking forward to it. He really has gotten lucky – getting to do a job he wants to do right out of school.

“Two weeks,” Mikael confirms, and Adam's face softens a little like he can hear something in Mikael's voice that he didn't mean to put there.

Maybe how proud his mother was of him only a few days ago because her baby was making something of his degree.

“So, I'm thinking we make Even and Isak help with the moving. I mean, they live in the building. My dad already said we can borrow his car, and I figure if we get my stuff loaded in the car and they help unload and carry it up while we go back and get the rest, then we'll be faster,” Adam says.

Mikael blinks through his surprise at the change of topic and then nods.

“Sounds like a good plan.”

“If I can get them to agree to it,” Adam sighs. “They're lazy buggers.”

Mikael shrugs and grins a little wrily.

“I'm sure they'll agree if I ask.”

“Wow, that's cold,” Adam says, but laughs. “I like it.”

“It's not our fault they moved when we weren't speaking. We'd have helped,” Mikael insists. They'd have complained a lot probably, but they would all have helped. And made fun of Even and his noodle arms.

“And we'll buy them beer and a pizza or something,” Adam adds.

Mikael nods and grins to himself a little at the thought of all of them sharing a meal.

“Even did say he wants to have double date dinner parties.”

“Perfect,” Adam says with a grin. “It'll be the first of many.”

Mikael grins back.

“You'll come over later this week and help me pack, right? I've still got so much to get done,” Adam says then, changing tack again.

Mikael shrugs.

“Yeah, sure. I've got nothing to do,” he says. “Least I can do, probably.”

Adam waves him off.

“Bro, don't sweat it. It's not permanent, and I can't leave you with those two.”

“It's not permanent,” Mikael echoes, but smiles regardless. It probably will take him a while to find a place and get the money together to put down a deposit, so it'd be longer than it's probably comfortable to have three people sleeping in a two people bed.

Adam only gives him a look that shows exactly what he thinks of that.

“You're saying that now, but wait until they haven't had sex in a few weeks.”

Mikael grimaces a little, and tries very hard not to imagine them doing exactly that.

“Why did you have to say that,” he complains.

“So you'd understand the severity of the situation! You gotta leave,” Adam says. “For your sake and theirs.”

“I am! You don't have to talk me into it!” Mikael protests.

Adam only grins and shrugs.

“But now you understand why.”

“You're the worst,” Mikael says, and then finds his tea cup empty when he lifts it again. “I'm gonna get another tea. You want anything?”

“Nah, I'm cool,” Adam says, so Mikael gets into line by himself, only to startle when someone slings an arm around his shoulders.

Even only laughs in his face, because he's secretly a dick.

“It's just me,” he says with a grin.

Mikael glares and tries to calm his racing heart, stepping out from under Even's arm in protest.

“How the fuck was I supposed to know that when you snuck up on me!”

“Sorry,” Even says, still grinning and looking absolutely not sorry at all.

“How did you even know I'm here?” Mikael asks.

Even shrugs like it should be obvious.

“Isak texted.”

Of course.

“Adam's here too,” Mikael says and moves with the line, digging his wallet out of his pocket. This time Isak's absolutely going to let him pay.

“Cool,” Even only says, and looks around the two girls in front of them in line to shoot Isak a look and a smile.

Mikael can see Isak roll his eyes at Even, but he's grinning softly to himself when he ducks his head to concentrate on his actual job. Even rocks on the soles of his feet just once and doesn't even have the decency of looking embarrassed when Mikael catches him at it.

“Hello, welcome to Kaffebrenneriet, what can I get you today?” Isak rattles off when they're stood in front of him, and Even puts his hands on the counter and swings forward, almost right into Isak's space. The counter's a little too wide for that, which is probably a good thing, but Isak's smiling.

“A kiss,” Even says. “And a green tea for Mikael, a cappuccino and a cinnamon bun for me. Please.”

“Well, I can do three of those,” Isak teases and puts their order in.

Mikael really wonders what this looks like to people who don't know they're already a couple and this isn't just Even being a forward asshole.

Even pouts, and Isak rolls his eyes, but obligingly leans over the counter to meet Even in a kiss hello over it. It's chaste, at least.

“Not paying you to flirt, Isak!” someone calls out from behind the coffee maker, so Isak moves away again, and plates Even's cinnamon bun.

He's fast as he makes the coffee, lets the tea steep while he makes the foam for Even's cappuccino and the espresso is being … cooked? Pressed? Brewed? Made.

Even pays for them both, and Mikael puts his wallet away with a huff. He's going to have to stuff some money down the side of a cabinet if this goes on.

When they get to the table, Even and Adam clap hands in greeting, and Even sits down in one of the empty chairs still around the table.

“So, what's up?” he asks, stirring a dash of sugar into his coffee and looking in between them both.

Adam snorts a laugh and Mikael shakes his head fondly.

“Well, Mikael and I are planning world-domination,” Adam says. “How about you?”

“Oh, you know, the usual. Shot some softcore porn, then over to a kid's birthday party. What five-year old needs an official photographer?” Even says.

He has a way of joking in such an absent-minded tone sometimes, that Mikael and Adam share a brief look before they laugh, just to make sure they're both on the same page here. The page where they definitely don't take Even seriously.

“I'm serious!” Even insists, smiling widely. “There was an entire box of cupcakes leftover and they wouldn't even let me have a single one!”

“But the porn was okay?” Adam plays along, and Even grins even wider.

“Yeah, the porn was fine. Real professional. And it was softcore, so no need to maintain erections or anything like that. Always makes it easier.”

Chairs scratch against the floor behind Even loudly, and when Mikael looks over, a couple in their mid-thirties are getting up hastily, carrying their things over to the available table the farthest away from them that they can find.

Even turns around to watch them go and then breaks out into laughter.

“Wow,” he says.

Adam puts his head in his hands, but Mikael can only laugh along with Even.

“We really can't take you anywhere,” Adam laments. “How does Isak deal with you?”

“Well,” Even starts with a smirk on his face, and Adam reaches over to slap a hand over his mouth.

“Nevermind. Please forget I asked that. I never, ever want to know.”

Mikael laughs a little more and Even puts on an expression of faux outrage and then turns to his cinnamon bun. He eats two bites and then slumps in his chair, energy seemingly sapping out of him.

“I really could have used one of those cupcakes. Keeping up with a bunch of five-year-old girls is exhausting,” he says.

Mikael pats him on the back consolingly.

“Should've asked Yousef for tips.”

“I did!” Even complains. “He said to let them tire themselves out, which wasn't feasible, since I wasn't there to babysit them but to photograph them. I can't wait until they're all falling asleep with their faces in their princess cupcakes to take photos of them.”

Adam snorts a laugh.

“So basically you got to horse around with a bunch of adorable little girls and take some photos and you totally loved it,” he says.

Even grins a little and then reaches up, fluffing a hand through his hair. A little glitter falls out and trickles down onto his shoulder and he sighs.

“Except for the glitter. One of the mums told me I'd be finding that everywhere for weeks. Isak'll love that.”

Adam waves him off.

“Isak won't mind,” he says. “Do either of you ever mind whatever the other does?”

Even looks at him a little oddly, and Mikael thinks about earlier, about Isak's methodical cleaning, and the way he rolled his eyes at Even's habitual forgetting of the shopping list.

“Sure,” Even says. “We're just people.”

Adam looks over to Mikael with his eyebrows raised like he's asking for confirmation, and Mikael quickly shakes his head.

“Don't look at me, I'm emotionally compromised, and they're on their best behaviour.”

That makes Even laugh at least, and even though Mikael's heart thunders in his chest at the careless joke and how he drew attention to the one thing he really didn't want to bring up, no one says anything further on it.

Instead, Even goes into detail about what he actually did when he wasn't shooting the birthday party, which was apparently just sorting through and retouching photos from another party that his boss had shot last week.

“I wish it'd been softcore porn,” Even sighs, tearing off another piece from his cinnamon bun. “It was some corporate type event, and after a while I really couldn't distinguish one guy from the next.”

They swerve to Adam next, the Master's program he's going into in the fall and what he's getting up to until then. From there the conversation just flows and before long Isak comes over to say that if they want they might as well stay through him closing up and then they could all go grab some food. Even pulls him into another kiss before he lets him go again, this one a little longer since there aren't any customers waiting for him.

By the time Mikael sinks into the bed in between Isak and Even again, he's actually managed to have a few happy hours where he didn't constantly think of that whole in his chest that makes it hard to breathe.

 

The third day, Isak and Even both have to leave after breakfast, and Mikael crawls back into bed and stays there until he gets a text wondering if he wants to come along to lunch with Yousef and Adam. He doesn't really, so they say they'll just bring something over.

It makes Mikael angry, for a whole two minutes, but then he's just too exhausted to try and argue them out of it. So they come over, and then they all watch some netflix show or other that Mikael doesn't pay more than the minimal amount of attention to, until Yousef leaves to meet up with Sana.

Adam turns the show off.

“I told my parents about you moving in and what's going on,” he says. “I hope that's okay.”

Mikael shrugs and then nods. It was only a matter of time before they found out, probably.

“They wanted me to tell you that if you need anything, they're totally here for you, yeah?” Adam goes on.

Mikael feels tears well up in his eyes and he squeezes them shut and nods against Adam's shoulder, sinking lower on the bed so he can hide his face Adam's arm and just… think about happy things until that sting in his eyes goes away again.

Adam just lets him.

“Tell them thank you,” Mikael finally says. “That's really nice of them.”

“Sure, yeah,” Adam says and sighs a little, wiggling around until his arm's slung around Mikael's shoulders. “I know it's not the same, but, really. If there's anything we can do, please ask.”

“Yeah,” Mikael says quietly. “Yeah, I promise.”

“And if you just want to talk – to someone who isn't Even or Isak, I mean, you can totally talk to all of us too,” Adam says. “To me.”

Mikael doesn't know how to tell Adam that talking to him – who came out to his parents as bi half a year ago, who was accepted with open arms, whose parents went to Pride with him in June – makes it all both a lot easier and a lot harder. It's great to see that Muslim families can accept their queer children, but it all just makes Mikael wonder why his can't.

“Yeah, thank you. I know,” Mikael says. “I just don't know how to talk about it without starting to cry, and I don't really want to cry all the time.”

“I get that,” Adam says, and squeezes him around the shoulders a little. “Crying sucks.”

“It's so exhausting,” Mikael complains.

“And it makes your face all sticky,” Adam adds. “Can't be good for that baby's bottom smooth complexion of yours.”

Mikael scoffs and pinches Adam in the side.

“Fuck off.”

“Ow!” Adam complains. “I'm just saying. Puffy eyes and spotty skin doesn't sound like your thing.”

“Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful,” Mikael says in English, and Adam laughs.

“Never for that,” Adam says overly-solemnly, so Mikael pinches him again.

“Really thanks though,” Mikael says. “I just need to not talk about it a little more.”

“That's cool,” Adam says and then moves towards Isak's or Even's laptop again. “Wanna watch some more of this?”

So they watch some more of… whatever show it is.

Adam's gone by the time Even and Isak get back, and Even kicks Isak and him out of the flat, claiming he can't concentrate on making the perfect dinner with the two of them around being nuisances, in what is the most transparent attempt at getting Mikael to leave the bed and get some fresh air that must have ever happened.

“Sorry about him,” Isak says as soon as Even closes the door behind them.

Mikael shrugs.

“He just doesn't want me to soak in my own misery.”

“Yeah, but sometimes you need a good soak,” Isak says, and then gestures towards the stairs. “Want to go outside or just sit out here until Even lets us back in?”

Mikael takes a moment to consider it, but it's not too hot out today, and he hasn't been outside the whole day, so he shakes his head.

“No, let's go,” he says. “We can take a walk or something.”

Isak nods and follows Mikael down the stairs, lets him pick a street at random to wander down.

Mikael likes this, usually. Just walking and looking at the houses on streets he's never been. The yards, when they're there, and the front doors. The curtains in windows. The occasional cat staring back down at him. It's not quite as fun today, but it is a little soothing. The familiar comfort of it, getting lost in other people's lives and houses.

“I feel bad for being jealous of Adam,” Mikael hears himself say, and kicks at a leaf on the ground. It barely moves.

Isak hums.

“Because of how his parents took his coming out?”

Mikael nods, not looking up to see if Isak’s looking at him. He feels… ugly, for feeling this way. He can’t help it, but he also doesn’t want Adam to have gone through what he’s going through right now. He’s glad Adam’s parents reacted how they did. But he’s also jealous.

“That makes sense,” Isak says. “I don’t think you need to feel too bad for that.”

“I don’t want him to have suffered or anything though.”

“No, of course not,” Isak says immediately. “He’s your friend. But you’re still allowed to be envious that he’s had it easier than you did. You can be jealous of me too, or of Even, or any of us.”

“I think, objectively, Even had it worst,” Mikael says.

“Well, but that wasn’t about coming out - not really. If it had gone differently, his parents wouldn’t have batted an eyelash either,” Isak says.

Mikael sighs. That’s probably true. They’ve all had many good cries about that time by now and it’s a wound that’s healed, but the scar, Mikael thinks, will probably remain. At least for another little while.

“I don’t want to be jealous of him though,” Mikael says. “It feels so petty and small-minded.”

Isak laughs a little.

“You’re allowed to be a little petty and small-minded,” he says. “It’s tough shit you’re having to deal with right now, you can’t expect yourself to be superhuman through it.”

“No, but I can try and be decent,” Mikael says, though he smiles a little at how unconcerned Isak seems to be.

“You’re more than decent, Mikael,” Isak insists, bumping their shoulders together as they walk.

Mikael looks up to smile at him for a moment.

“Really,” Isak insists, expression earnest. “You’re pretty damn amazing. I really can’t blame Even for having had a crush on you.”

Mikael barks a surprised laugh and rolls his eyes when Isak grins at him triumphantly.

“Though I assume you were a bit more of a mess at eighteen. It’s only fair if you had to grow a little too, right?” he teases.

Mikael snorts another laugh and shakes his head.

“No worries,” he says. “I was a huge mess.”

“Even has a type then,” Isak says with a laugh of his own

“I’m pretty sure these days that’s just you,” Mikael says and watches the way Isak’s huge grin sweetens a little, goes wistful as he stares off into the distance and then sighs and shrugs.

“Yeah,” he says. “It’s pretty crazy, isn’t it.”

“That you’re still dating?”

“Yeah. I mean… schooltime relationships don’t usually last this long, right?”

Mikael frowns a little.

“You’re not… are you thinking about breaking up?”

“What?!” Isak asks, almost yelps it, whirling around to stare at Mikael, offended. “No! Why would-- no! I’m just saying sometimes I think of how many people all our friends have been with since Even and I met and it makes me realise that we’re the odd ones out.”

“Yeah, but you’re evak, you know,” Mikael says with a shrug and grins when Isak rolls his eyes at the portmanteau. “We’re probably all a little jealous of you.”

“That’s very petty and small-minded of you,” Isak says with a grin, and Mikael laughs and gives him a shove.

“No, but really. I don’t feel like I’m that much less of a mess now,” Mikael says. “I know the corner points of my mess better now, I guess, but that’s it.”

Isak hums a little and then carefully looks over at him.

“Because you’re not sure about your label, you mean?” he asks.

Mikael sighs.

“Yeah. I’m twenty-two. Feels like I should have worked that out by now.”

“That’s not how it works though,” Isak says immediately. “There’s no age limit to figuring yourself out, and if you don’t like any of the labels then you don’t have to use any of them.”

Mikael sighs again.

“Yeah, I guess. It just… sucks, a little. That I can’t point to something and go ‘yep, that’s me’.”

“Yeah,” Isak says gently. “That does suck. But, whoever you are, we love you, yeah? And maybe you’ll find something, in time.”

“Yeah,” Michael echoes, and tries to swallow the bad mood back down.

Isak pulls a sympathetic grimace and then bumps their shoulders together again, but they walk on in companionable silence. A few moments pass before Isak pulls his phone out and checks the time.

“Shall we circle back and see if Even’s going to let us back into the flat?”

“Yeah, let’s do that,” Mikael says. “Though I kind of want to stay out long enough he has to call to make us come back, but I know he won’t do that.”

Isak huffs a little laugh.

“No, he’ll just think we’re having a deep heart-to-heart and won’t want to interrupt.”

Mikael nods with faux graveness and then shakes his head.

“He’s the worst.”

“The _worst_ ,” Isak agrees, and leads them down a turn to cycle back, presumably.

“Hey, you’re gonna help Adam and me move, right?” Mikael says.

“Yeah, of course,” Isak says immediately.

“Okay, cool, because Adam said his dad is lending us his car and thought it’d be easiest if you stayed at the building and carried stuff up while we go back to fetch more. Division of labour and such,” Mikael says.

Isak nods along

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

“We’ll pay for pizza or something after.”

“Cool, thanks,” Isak says with a smile. “It’s gonna be fun to have you two in the building as well. The others are going to be so jealous that we’re hanging out all the time.”

“How petty and small-minded of them,” Mikael grins.

Isak laughs.

“You mustn’t judge. We’re pretty cool.”

“Even said he wants to do double date dinner parties,” Mikael says. “In what world is that cool?”

“The one where we make the rules,” Isak says easily, and then, just as they round another corner, their complex comes back into view.

“So, this one?”

“Yep. This one.”


End file.
